Ewww, that smell….oh no, you didn’t?

I popped in today to talk of a subject you may not want to deal with, it involves the “smell in the room”, not to be confused with an elephant in the room, although sometimes it does smell that way.
I work in a factory where most of the workers are men. Needless to say the gutter/boy talk a lot of times gets a little amusing if not sometimes icky. Today’s conversation revolved around flatulence.
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It has been decided by those around me that this is not something that ladies do, which to my mirth caused me to burst into spontaneous laughter. If you ask my husband, he will tell you this is not a true statement. Ladies do in fact pass wind on a regular basis and as we age, it happens more frequently.
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There is nothing worse to me than sitting in a room filled with men and feeling that “feeling” of uh-oh….so you hold it till you are ready to burst, or when their long winded conversation finally ends, escape to a private place to expel.
Well this happened today, and being a lady, I left the office to shall we say, expel? Finding a quiet area with no one around is sometimes difficult but can be achieved. So feeling safe it happened. And then of course a minute later here comes a guy walking through. I don’t know if he gave me the “look” or not, I pretended innocence in case the question was to have arisen, which it did not.
I proceed to walk into the office and oh my god, why did I bother, because it seems while the girl is away, the boys will play, and it was not nice. I think the air actually turned a shade of green, or my eyes were just burning so much it seemed that way. They grabbed the can of germ spray; you know the one that is used in bathrooms on the toilet seat. I have read the can. It has been shown to cause cancer in lab rats….poor little rats….but now I am inhaling a cloud of this stuff.
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So being adults we discussed this. Would we rather expire from a bad smell or a can of poison? This is where I was told that ladies do not pass wind. So I laughed.
We have a work statement about living our values and as I explained to the boys, by leaving the office to take care of this issue, I have in turn fulfilled four of our values.
Respect….I like you guys too much to subject you to that. I respect you after all
Quality improvement/continuous improvement-the air is much nicer, kind of like daisies right?
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Accountability- yep, I did it, but I didn’t do it here for all of you to deal with.
Teamwork-I am the ultimate team player for my actions, right?
It is a tough conversation for the workplace but somehow it came up/or out and we managed to get through it with grace and decorum. I feel more comfortable now because I realize they are just little boys at heart and I can give it along with the best of them. Unfortunately, I don’t have my dogs here in the office so I can’t blame it on them, but I will learn the art of looking around and saying to the crew, ok, which one of you dealt it. With the amount of air they pass, surely it will be believed that it was at least one or two of them. After all, ladies don’t ahem, fart after all.

A place by water

subtle light filters through
The brim of his hat
As he sways gently in the sea breeze
Salt air spray
As the waves crash below
Gently he rocks
His bliss.
This home by the sea
Open doors to cool the room
Surrounded by the world
Of water
Of sun
This place of perfection,
Home of the heart song.
The sun sets on the heat baked
And weary as we sit together
Quietly waiting
For night to come
The street sounds foreign down below
This castle fortress
Is all we know
For a temporary lull
Of a place that moves so fast
Yet still slow
In its own way
We are passengers
Traveling the world of sun and sand
We are here
We shall be
Home.
Paradise found.

Moon shadow ….light

Cloudless sky
Midnight hour
I reach out to touch
The tiny stars
That hang suspended
In the black blue sky.
Sliver orb
I know you will return
And show your full glory
As you do each month
And spread your light
On this sleepless soul.
The winter sky
So beautiful and the
Expanse of your show
Spread like a blanket
Above.
Clear
the cold slices
My face like knives
With this wind
Balancing beauty and pain
Light and dark
Wax and wane
You and I
Ever present
In this universal moment.
Long ago I stood
A rooftop in Rincon
The man said this would be
The grandest in size you would ever see,
Raising the tides eight feet higher
And I captured you
Through the waving palms
And saw the ocean at my feet
Unchanged, rolling
And knew that I
Had been changed by
An experience
That would never come again.
I had held the moon.

Miss Apple and the headless chipmunk

spoiler alert…there will be talk of a dead critter here. Stop now or read on……

so I have two dogs, not large by any means, around fifty pounds each. Cute as a button they are and they love to cuddle too. their main past time is lunging at the window looking all vicious and barking like fools at the varmints.
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They give me a heart attack endlessly streaking to the front of the house when they know there is a squirrel or other furry varmint there, which unfortunately means the furry critters escape up a tree, but then proceed to jump from tree to tree like the amazing Spider-Man to escape. Sometimes they even cross the road to evade he dogs, but these are sometimes smart dogs and they try to get there first.
I live on a hill, with blind spots and I am petrified one of these days it will not end good, so I scream at them and for the most part, ok, sometimes, they even seem to understand and if I’m lucky, even listen and stop.
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Sooooo….the other day we went for a walk and there was a dead chipmunk (we call them chippies) in the road that the dog noticed. Me being the wise, or not so wise mom figured hell, I don’t want the idjits running into the road later for this and it was a very fresh death of the little varmint with shiny red blood so I picked it up by the tail and brought it into the yard for the dog.. Ok, Miss Apple (the dog)now has dead prize but does not know what to do with it except carry it around proudly, all, look what I caught mom proud. No harm no foul.
Advance two days, chippie now buried under snow. Hmmmmm….ok, hubby snow throws the deck where varmint last seen, boom, out the shoot and fifteen feet away into another snow bank.
Guess we will find it In July when this crappy snow thaws out, right?
Nope, other little dog digs it out of the snow and carries it around. Rock hard frozen like a piece of hard wood. Later we are in the house and I see blood on the carpet. Worried I go to investigate to see which pet is injured and there, thawing nicely on the white carpet is a now headless chippie. Little blood trail leading from the door to this spot. Oh, my, god!!! Now I am totally grossed out and they looked at me like, well, you gave it to us you idiot, what did you want us to do with it?
Lesson learned. Headless chippie back out. I am not sure where it went but I am sure it will resurface at some point in the not too distant future. After all, this snow has to melt sometime, right? Maybe the cat can catch them some new fresh ones in the meantime….um….yeah, right.
Vegetarian cats don’t catch anything except broccoli .

Connection

We move along
Floating or merely submerged
In the clutter and moving sea
In the light visible
Sometimes clouded
From view.
Connected to this world
We bump along
Sometimes encountering one another,
Then moving away.
The old game
Six degrees of separation
But not Mr. Bacon
We find each other
Through the friend of a friend
Through yet another,
To find ourselves here
Washed up and waiting
To be burned or created
Into a new piece
Of art.
The invisible thread
Captured and tied
Connected.

Happiness and the morning from hell….

oh sweet morning
Waiting for light
To guide my way
To steer me around that puppy puddle
That was so cold
On my bare toes
At two am.
Oh sweetest day
Give me the knowledge to push open
The door all of the way
As I wander this icy land
To fetch my goblet
For my coffee
That I left in my chariot
Yesterday
And give me the sight of those fully alert
To not walk into that door with my forehead
On my way back in.
Oops too late. Ouch.
Give me that strength
To breathe deeply and say that lovely
Word OM on my meditative drive
To keep my newly found high blood pressure
Just a little lower so that the office idiot
Doesn’t rattle my cage with his brutish ways,
And give me peace to enjoy my
Fine left over lunch
Of ravioli and fresh bread
And tune out the catty chatter
Of the evil ones that like
To make me cringe with the over use
Of their negativity.
please lend me some sunshine
To warm these minus twenty five degree
Wind chills today
So that I don’t cower under blankets
And call in to work.
Hmmmmm….ok, I will get dressed
And trudge off to the belching factory
I call second hell.
Bless this house
And those within
To see us through another day
As we trudge off to our work day
To collect some well deserved pay,
And keep us healthy and happy
And stress free…..
Happiness we ask of thee
And patience not to slap
Those that deserve it.
Thank you
And good day.

Found

This morning I had done a post on lost and was kindly asked by a
Certain professor VJ Drake to follow up with one on found.
I usually write free flow on whatever pops in my little pea brain
At a given moment and nothing is flowing for found
But I shall arise to the challenge and try…..
I have lost pennies
Never to be found
By my hand
I give it to the world a gift
For another to possess.
I have found white feathers lately
And am told that it is an angel
Letting me know they are there….
I switched to foam pillows for a reason….
But enjoy them nonetheless. No word on where
They actually came from so I will buy into the angel
Aspect for now.
I have found three buttons in a single week,
Someone’s pants may be falling down,
Did not notice….not my issue I suppose.
I lost my unicorn
But he came back
No calls necessary.
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Finders keepers.
I did not find the cache of old gold in California…
Or did I ???? Hmmmm guess you’ll never know,
Unless of course I start posting from Bali…..
virginity….once lost, some things can never be found again…sorry….
My mind, well that gets lost and found on a regular basis.
New friends on WordPress…..probably one of my best finds in a long time.
time, nope, that one keeps eluding me daily. Never enough of it, kind of like solid sleep,
Never enough of that.
A positive attitude, that one likes to hang with me, and I like that. Don’t ever want to lose that one.
a liking for mushrooms. Nope, will never find that!
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love, yep, found that and it is priceless.
Laughter….need to find me some more of that:)
Wisdom…still on that search….although I have my moments, sometimes I would rather listen to my inner four year old and ignore that wisdom stuff.
Dreams….oh baby, found many of those and they keep coming true.
So that is my piece on found with a little lost thrown in for good measure.
I hope this suffices professor and that I get a good grade.
Just please don’t call in the grammar police….I am in hiding and they haven’t
Discovered me yet.

Flashback

One of the days
Everything
Tipsy-turvy
The man in the machine
Tells me
It’s New Years
Yet something amiss
If my calendar is true
Every post
Is New Years
But I see no champagne
Nor party hats,
No special night out planned
Have I gone back
To revisit time
Wake me up,
Like the groundhog
I long to crawl back in
And see things
Back to right.

Musings on why my wordpress reader was all old posts from New Years this am….
Happy new year everyone…..again.

Lost

I felt the stream
The flow of words
As I lay waiting
For sleep to claim my mind
And I thought to myself
I should write this down,
I wish I had a recorder
I will remember this in the morning,
I recited the words over
Like a mantra in my head
And it was about the lost meaning
Of what is between the lines
Of the invisible
Of the things left unsaid
And I awoke in the night
And stood with the cold
And the snow blowing on my face
Each time the door opened
And it felt refreshing
And I strained to remember
The words
And I found they were now lost
Drifting in my dream world
Perhaps to be found
Another day
And captured
Like a butterfly
Elusive
Moving
In a jar.

Feeling Punchy…hmmmmm

Sitting in this room
Where All around is gloom
The people sit and chow
Most chewing like a cow.
I sit and eat some cake
And try to stay awake
This day is still not through
But still not sniffing glue.
I try to eat my lunch
And sip my Hawaiian punch
Which makes me think of you
Ooooo what’s a girl to do?
I shall be kind of loopy
The gravitar is snoopy
I think this work just sucks
We follow along like ducks.
I wish that I were rich
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I would never be called a B$&ch,
If I were punchy too
I’d be just as grand as you.

Childish fun thought for my pal in the far off Punchy Lands.
Ooooooo and I didn’t have to swear,
But the days not over yet
Smiles……