Trying so hard to be a Jane….but am I being a dick?

Okay, just a little background on my day to catch you all up on why I am in this LOVELY mood today. I am normally in a very happy shiny mood place but I don’t know if the moon sent its death ray to destroy me last night or maybe it’s just a bad moment in the month but I woke up calm and peaceful at a dark one in the morning when the cutest little dog you’ve ever seen decided she just HAD to go out. Right now!!!! So I crawl out of bed, drag my bathrobe out from the other precious fifty pound dog who was not very happy about that and proceeded to stumble down the stairs over the cat to the door. Turn around and nope, no dog… and destroy mission ensues…oh how cute, mommy is up so I can get in her spot under the blankie…in bed ….NOT!!!! I pull her off the bed because if I have to get up on account of her, so does she. Out they go….five minutes later back in. Still in a somewhat good mood and back to bed.
Beep beep goes that evil little alarm at its proper time and my butt is just dragging. Get to work in one piece and the lets just call him the person I must endure sitting next to in what was once a quiet office, he walks in as I am concentrating crunching numbers and click, cranks the radio on oldies channel which happens to be playing Donna Summers Bad girls song. Not a favorite and now losing my train of thought I simmer. Because why? Because in my work environment there are very few salaried women and lots and lots of men. we must be Jane and play nice. we must take the gutter boy humor, Fbombs, etc…..because we are Janes. they are the dicks? Jane must keep calm, Jane must be dainty. As he turns up the radio another notch he proceeds to get up and leave said office and go to the cafeteria for a coffee break that lasts a half an hour. Now I am getting more non Jane-like by the moment. I go to turn down the offending device (after all we are in an office instead of the machine floor to get work done in a quiet environment).
but not dick. He comes back and puts in his earbuds and listens to his iPhone on god only knows what, loud enough for me to hear it six feet away.
This lasts another ten minutes then he leaves. I go to turn down the radio again and here are buttons but they are so worn you can’t tell which one is the volume, so being a dainty Jane, I play with them all, turning the station to fuzz, changing the time and finally scoring with the off button. See Jane, see Jane win!!!!! Oops, here comes Dick. He pulls out his chair, props his legs up on his desk and proceeds to nap time. Now dick has told me in the past that us salaried folks are always on a break. I don’t know which handbook he goes by, but mine is the Jane book. I am getting paid to do a damn fine job each day and then I can go home and nap. This is not kindergarten and we can’t pull out our blankies and lay on the floor after the milk and cookies have been served and take off our shoes and nap. I mean really, who does this? apparently dick. At some point in my life, I may grow a pair and try to be like Dick, but I till then I am just plain Jane. And with that I am ok.
See Jane, see Jane eat some chocolate, see Jane switch to nuts, nope, not working, see Jane switch from coffee to water then back again. Jane sees a cupcake…mmmmmmm now that’s nice Jane. See Jane smile.