Minutiae of evening

Aromas rise

Crackling seeds pop off pans

Jack-O-lantern jumping beans

Scent of chili and garlic butter,

Mmmm, almost there.

Found the time to empty

Pretty orange shells

As chilled wind nips cheeks,

Feast or famine

I choose snacks.

Background noise to break the silence,

Long lost movie runs on fifty inches

As Saint Elmo’s fire burns,

Faces so young and familiar

Imaginary heroes of youth,

Don’t miss the drama 

Of The yesterday now gone,

Just seeing images of big hair

Eighties music and the gangs all there.

The winds will come

As the sun rises and I dread the cold,

But if the power slips into nothing

And I’m here hanging with my tribe,

The seeds will suffice to fill the void

Of a hot cooked meal denied,

One more reality

That fall is slipping away

With the empty skins in fields for deer

And frost will find me waiting

The simple days not gone

With pumpkin seeds warm from baking,

Hanging out with my old friends,

Demi and Emilio and Rob.

Don’t worry, three big pumpkins worth of seeds, don’t worry, I’ll save you some….maybe…..okay, one or two at least…..addictive little things.

Lovely photo found at : http://www.eckerts.com/pumpkins-pumpkins-pumpkin-seeds/

Learning to fly….(it’s all about the love)

Do you remember when we stood outside

As the cold wet snow fell down,

Black wool coat increasing weight

As the wetness of tears and glistening drops of ice

We’re enough to melt this moment

Into an empty jar full of memory.

Do you remember when we lay on green grass

Quad days and blankets

Skipping class to just be grounded

And the clouds that drifted

We’re as thick as our thoughts

And the soft blue cotton blanket never thick enough

To cushion the blow as I watched you

Watch her walk away.

Do you remember nights in black light rooms

Giving shades of purple to the pictures

And we would look out and name stars

While Pink Flloyd played a dirge in the background,

How I wished you were there

Yet you laughed without care

Calling me a child,

How someday I’d grow up.

Do you remember how I was learning of love

Of how to cling to a soul that moved

Like the invisible wind,

There one moment then slipping away the next,

How I wanted you to be the mountain 

Sturdy and strong to support a branch

To cradle a broken bird,

As you shuddered and crumbled

And I watched so sad as you lost sight of the sun

And the moon and cosmos laughed

For you thought you knew the answer,

Having found it swimming in the dirty water

As the smoke reached out to erase your mind,

I had to walk away, leaving it behind.

I turned and followed my own path,

Leaving the sharp rocks of the roughest trail,

Finally finding love and oceans blue,

The love for love and all of those things

The gift of being true and filled with light,

Those simple things for free,

You never could give to me,

As open and pure as wildflowers 

Dividing lonely highways,

Colors of spring and summer,

Fading as we drifted by on our way

With the wind in our hair,

Damn we are so alive when I remember it all,

Just as we still are in this moment.

I reached out to grasp the universe

And it found me with an open heart.

He sits by the sea today below the sun

Toes moving through sand as he searches for gifts,

Pieces and bits as old as history.

Things that make me smile,

Knowing our love flies high like strong winged birds,

And I wait for his return,

Do you remember when.
I was musing earlier about how when younger my expectations were often distorted but when the heart opens and matures, I realize how simple it is, and chastise myself for waiting so long to learn it. The beginning of this post were my college days…so long ago. But today, I miss my love and know he shall read this, giving the gift of a love between two and a smile across miles.

Days move by

Rain swollen skies bleed down
Coagulated coldness thick
Searching for the sun to rise
To bring light to these disjointed thoughts
That fall like the drops,
Sideways shifting
Ordinary to focus within
On a single beam
Of flashlights on forests
Silent in midnight.
New moon comes bearing shadow
Hidden behind clouds
Unseen but felt
Like a candle flickering
Striving to live through the night
Drowning in pools of liquid wax
Scented with the season
Giving guidance through the storm.
We turn back when faced
The onslaught of wind in directions confused
Yet forward is the path
That beckons us to rise,
To remember kindly
To be thankful for days gone by
And those to come
That perhaps will rise
Like a beautiful sun
Settling on stones in fields
Or shifting dunes where pieces fell
When the red rain shredded souls
Who lived and died alone,
Whose only thoughts for tomorrow
To make their way back home.
As thoughts move like waves
Foreign shores I’ve never seen
Washing in and out endlessly
These ripples of life changing
Rearranging history
As they move in and out
Returning to find us
Skipping stones and wishing
For days of peace
And light to guide the way.