I am quite perplexed and have found myself in a muddle of trouble. See, I woke up this morning to a knock, at least I think it was a knock, on my back door so I mosey on back to see who it could be, because I have a fence and two big viscous beasts of a dog or two and an attack cat and nobody, I mean nobody, comes to the back door. No one can get through the fence, except the pool dude and he’s allowed, but I digress, I go to the back door and see no one there. So now I’m all confused and wondering if I’m perhaps losing my mind and then I look down and here are all these finger and handprints on the glass doors. Now my dogs and cat don’t have digits that small, nor would they ever dare leave anything but nose and tongue prints on said glass door, and all these water drip marks splashed all over the place. Humph, now I’m really a bit confused and I look over and what do I see?
A gnome I tell you, plain as day in my pool snorkeling. Well how the blazes did he get there I said to myself, after all, it’s kind of pushy I think to just go in someone’s pool and make a mess like that, so he doesn’t say a word to me, just gives me those goggle eyes and I walk around the side to make sure the fence is latched and what do I see?
I mean really? Now I hadn’t checked the fridge to see if any of the beer was gone, but heck, I dude here is inviting friends to a party I’m not even having, well then that’s rather rude don’tcha think? Did you send them? How did they find me? Must have been this guy…
Now I know you’ve got rabbits down under and kangaroos too so I think Ricky rabbit rider here must have rode all the way to the USofA, clear from wallaby central to spread the word that there’s some kind of shindig going down….now I know I should have held back in the eighties on experimenting with that chemical stuff in college but this is a bit much…..they are getting out of control and they don’t listen to me…kind of like my dogs it seems, and the dogs are having a ball whooping it up too….but it’s getting late and the music keeps getting louder and I think my new neighbs may call the posse in on me….hold on a sec…..”turn it down already!” Humph……
Well John, gotta run and try to quench this chaos, next time you drop by, I’ll remember to leave a light on for you…..it may distract them as I think they don’t like the light much….makes ’em kind of grumpy.
Photo of gnome army found at:
The Rest found on Internet and Pinterest