Holding on…

Listening to
the stranglehold of history
the minutiae of years
can’t help wasting it…
the years to never be regained…
but ah the escapism of a circus performer
hanging on to the tight rope
’cause in the worth is the prize….
We sit and reminisce
watching history watch us back
as it laughs
for it hasn’t changed
just morphed into new dimensions
thinking ’bout what’s happening
and trying to place
the talons down….
seems like the time and place
re-arranging the semblance of order
as confusionism takes flight
coming or going….
not that it matters
except to the mistress of her craft,
wake to the new dawn,
fly to the sun for a chat
finding out what’s really going on….
in and out of the mind
nothing really going on
except the tragedy of awakening…
caught between chords of yesterday
we find no reason to connect
two ways to black and white
no color barrier
just the eclipse of moons and souls
standing on the shoulder of the road waiting
thumb out
waiting for a soul with understanding and heart
listening for the reiki beat
of healing…
“relax…Just the basic facts….there is no pain…your lips move but I can’t hear what you say….you would not understand, this is not how I am…”
lost in the cycle of
disillusion,
should we let the butterflies land?
or let spellcheck take control….
stolen thoughts and set aside…
” when I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse…I cannot put my finger on it now, the child is grown,……….
the dream is gone”
so many gone….why is it.that I dive deeper
feel the pain,
need to reconcile the future with the past….
so hard to do when pulled so far
and so many pieces can only reconnect
with their whole….
“remember when you were young? we shone like the sun”……oh…
the smell of weed on the air….
wanting to be a part
to belong,
damn how these lyrical trips take me
magic carpet ride to yesterday,
can’t complain
cause I could never explain
as long as you’re still here on the journey
and seeing this girl through….
all she needs you to do…..is…..
ah,
the endless question of reason…..

Thank you for letting me have a little soul dilemma tonight, listening to songs of my history, thinking of friends here in bloggerville ,you know who you are….life years moving onto the coming on 50 years…so many miles to go before I sleep….”remember when you were young? You shone like the sun….now there’s a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky…you reached for the secret too soon…you cried for the moon…shine on you crazy diamond”……”always searching, reaching…never ending…all apologies….it is what it is….we sat in a dorm room, drinking Lowenbrau….young college girls rich with the scent of Apple pectin shampoo, the lingering scent of my memories still on the air, men who wanted to be girls flitted in and out like gentle confused butterflies and I merely lingered in the outskirts trying to read the chapters…of who ultimately I would end up to be…..to be continued…darn YouTube……a time capsule for sure 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Holding on…

  1. Another good tune Betty, just watched the movie within the last two years….I find it a love/hate relationship….often some things are better left as a phantom ghostly memory, hanging on the fringe not acknowledged…but they sometimes like to slip in uninvited anyway….I try to sift trough it, let the dust bunnies settle and look for the good in it😊💕peace and love, K

    Liked by 1 person

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