Purple hat

She sits in her chair

needles moving in and out with rhythm

only she hears as her tired hands feed

her purple hat of love.

Her hair falls out piece by piece

until she shears it into emptiness

falling at her feet she knows it will return

someday once more.

Six long months as the winter snow falls

she wears it as she stands beneath the skies

her universe swirling all around her

but her faith guides her forward.

Where has that time gone she wonders

as she tucks the cap away with one last breath

she smells the clean fresh scent

no longer reminiscent of the poisons it once caught.

Reminders of years long gone

and no longer in use it waits patiently

her reminder of love woven into each loop

by her mother’s hand,

she is strong now and free of the murderous cells

and yet she still wonders her purpose

as she writes in the darkness

her hands moving on keys

keeping rhythm to the sound only she hears

as her lullaby to yesterday plays out

and she smiles for she is blessed

and she has not forgotten

the purple hat or all of the love sent

to her through the years.

Reminiscing earlier as I was in a thrift store I saw a cap similar to one my mother made me back when I had cancer. I still have the hat my mom made but was surprised I couldn’t recall the year I went through chemo, was it 9 or 10?years ago? and then thinking it really doesn’t matter for it too (the cancer) was a gift, enabling me to begin writing once more, to look at life much differently and with a peace and joy in my heart, and in knowing there was a higher purpose for me, that I had things to do. Chemo began after Christmas and lasted into June….so long ago, but really in the big scheme of things, such a short bit ago.

Silk-NaPoWriMo-Day 11 

As smooth as water falling

Drifting downward to its end

Pooling below

Ever moving,

Flowing.

Sliding through hands like crystal raindrops

Fingers weaving in and out

Cool and smooth

Colors of nature

In mist a shade of grey.

Silver slices through cleanly

The snip and clip shorn smooth

Flesh uncovered, 

rounded rightly by mothers hands at birth

Naked splendor.

Years passing

Shifting brown to silver hues threaded through

Silk strands run down into a soft pile

Pooled at the feet

Pushed aside and forgotten.

Once given freely now returned whole,

Supple braid hangs proudly.

Cancer not allowed to win.

Thoughts on how when young my hair has changed, self induced and nature induced, woven with grey. Shaved completely bald by choice when cancer struck and refused to cover my round orb of a head. Now grown back in, brown still streaked with silver, wrapped into a braid….memories for this piece.

And now for today’s (optional) prompt! Today, I challenge you to write a poem in which you closely describe an object or place, and then end with a much more abstract line that doesn’t seemingly have anything to do with that object or place, but which, of course, really does. I think of the “surprise” ending to this James Wright Poem as a model for the effect I’m hoping you’ll achieve. An abstract, philosophical kind of statement closing out a poem that is otherwise intensely focused on physical, sensory details. Happy writing!

A letter for a friend

I have a beautiful friend who I’ve written poetry for before and in 2012 her sister passed away from cancer. I didn’t want to buy a card as the words just were not adequate so I wrote her this instead. A letter from her to her sister. She told me the other day just how much joy it still brings her and if I had blogged about it, I told her I would do so , so here is a letter passed between friends in memory of loved ones.

I have lost, a piece of myself, a friend, a sister…I have lost, and my heart feels so very heavy with this ache that feels as if it will never leave, that will never let me be at peace.
I have lost, such a huge part of my being that the tears can’t seem to find an end….a river endlessly flowing…a meandering stream that seems to disappear beyond sight then suddenly, inexplicably reappears…I am so tired…so tired of the sadness….so tired of waking up feeling as if today is the same as yesterday…that now, things will never be the same…a piece of me is missing…and I can’t, I don’t know how to get it back…..
I walk through my days in a haze, I walk by the mirror and think to myself, who is this person I then I look a little closer and there is a light that wasn’t there before….just a small glow in my eye…a devilish glint that doesn’t belong to me..or does it…..?? I look a little closer and realize that although I may have not seen it there before…the dawning slowly comes over me like a warm spring sun rising in the sky….you are here…..you are….the DNA that makes up my blood, my bones….you are not gone, because you are in me….in my thoughts….in my heart, in my soul, in the very essence that makes me a part of who I am….you are not gone….you can never be gone because you are indeed, one of the best parts of me…you are in my laughter, my sense of humor, the best thoughts that flow from me….you are like the river flowing uninterrupted from the best of who I am….I do miss you, I will always miss you….but deep at heart I know I can call out and you still hear me, still laugh with me….still believe in me….you are the best of me….
I Have lost you, my dear sweetest friend, my sister……and someday I WILL see you again…..but in the meantime I know, although I cannot see, I know, if I hold out my hand, you will be there to hold it and send me your love, your comfort…..you will let me know that it’s all going to be alright.
and if I cry too much, know that these tears are from missing you….then slap me up side the head and say “enough already”……let’s open that bottle….time to celebrate life….

Originally written June 1st 2012.