The end tether

Together searching down corridors

colors and words flow faster than light,

five hundred-dollar hair and a flair

for not knowing when to stop.

Swirling like a dervish

up and down like a ping-pong ball,

light shining from golden teeth

she speaks of God who sits beside

on her shoulder

and I wonder why I feel

the compression of the energy

draining away till I move past her

each step so hard I move towards the light

of the sun that found the plate-glass window

leaving the wound top spinning

behind me.

God bless you another says

and I look confused as I hadn’t sneezed

yet she gazes beyond me to the girl

and the sight as she sways and moves,

taking selfies of colors

wanting it all

as she dreams in her mind and speaks

to the silence around her,

the others stare and I compose

moving back towards the whirlwind

tornado girl up and down into her sky,

she smiles and asks Libra or Gemini

but I can only reply

Cancer

and she laughs out loud and says she should have known

for I exude the peace she searches for

yet hasn’t found

for the pills bringing her too far up

to feel she can get back down,

I keep distance as the pull of energy shifts

and I breathe in and out

letting her go about her moment

set free in the candy factory she says,

just wishing she had all the money in the world

to gorge on all she sees,

dyes and nails and pretty things

for inside she feels the ugliness that must be covered,

and she takes God in her hand

with a smile and a twirl

buys a few items but not all she wishes,

with not enough cash

and credit cards that speak denial,

leaves from where she came in.

Thoughts on a long event at work yesterday with a reformed junkie with a gorgeous dye job and gold teeth who spent so long in the store, taking pictures of hair colors, talking to herself, me and anyone who would listen (which was no one except me) and though I could feel the energy being sucked away from myself, had enough sense to walk away and gather up before engaging her again. A nice girl who has found God, has three children and a husband of 17 years waiting at home, but was a non-stop whirl of talk and movement. I do not know her name, but prayed for her and her family regardless. Just had to write something to get it out. Peace and blessings, K

 

Take two

Words swirl bitter

with hints of underlying unforgiveness

for what is will be

as you say there was never another way,

I caution you of the change stirring

like a hurricane brewing on the coast

it will arrive before you expect

for wearing excuses and blinders

you will drown in your own belief

that you cling to like a raft

as it sinks and drags you under.

I see in your eyes you know this truth,

and I am not the one to save you

for I can only ask with no judgement

take heed with these things which you say,

for you will be on that island alone

stranded by your own will

as you ask for favor

yet turn blindly away when offered,

change is coming and it may be slow

but it will arrive

and I will feel sorry for the child within you

that says over again that it’s always been this way,

and I will say one last time

you,

and only you

can change your way.

Thoughts that have been on my mind since last night, a conversation with a gentleman at work, who had words with one of my co-workers. She was gone when I was shutting down ten minutes before the shift end, and she is always there and often stays after the shift to “chat.I do not know why she left so early, I could not ask her. But he made sure as he tried to cover his own behind by letting me know his words he had used and his thoughts on things that had transpired, of which I was not around nor aware of.  I calmly and as nicely as I could, gave him my view on only what he had said to me, not what was said between them (as I still do not know the whole story). I stood up for what I believed in, said the words carefully and with no malice-watched while he back pedaled and explained weakly that when he grew up, that wasn’t such a big deal, it was how he was raised. I only said, “the word you used is Unacceptable and I take offense at it too, only you can change you.” I don’t do well with politics, and I am also professional enough to know that some things should not be spoken about at work or ever about others. I will always defend when the “race” card is brought forth in a “not nice” way, and it may not be much, but for me, it’s a start of a long road that lately seems to be getting longer by the day. I apologize for this rant but it was something I needed to get off of my chest. I will not stand by and hear that word without saying something. It’s a tough haul, being at work and being civil when you just want to shake some sense into someone.

There will be cake

We will meet in that place

Where so many days and years have slipped by,

Good days and bad

The everyday rhythm of another day

Just like the rest,

But this will be different,

There will be cake

And faces I’ve known through sickness and health

And so many years,

Seventeen to be exact

That has seen me go from young woman to

Strong dreaming warrior of the sun,

Who pursues the passion of her heart,

And the colors will live in memories

Long after we say goodbye

And I will sit in my spot,

Where I’ve sat everyday and today for the last

And we will laugh and smile and tears will find their way

Knowing time will now pass

And the seat will remain empty

Or be refilled with a new face

Who someday too will have a cake

And friends

And years spent here in this place

And as the door closes in just a few meager hours

I sit here in my chair

At my desk and realize that it will end

In three hours goodbyes and hugs will herald the end

And the beginning of a new journey,

On the path to tomorrow with a grateful heart,

And I will remember this moment

And a cake given by a place

That will no longer be my morning and daily home,

That will be in a yesterday

Waiting as I run towards a sun that calls.

Thoughts on my last day at work after seventeen years, one month and one day…but who’s counting? Goodbye, and hello future.