Resurrecting word

Lavender hues of scattered seeded memory

written words tucked away in satchels

hidden beneath the finer lace and everyday,

so much time passes between what we left there

shelved and covered in dust

waiting on the moss to break down

into nothingness.

Images and longings of the past

trickle down like rain from a faucet in the bathtub

salt scattered to revive the weary

melting into a pool of forgotten letters

tumbled in a heap

like a towel damp and left behind

on bathroom floors.

The steam covers our image

mirage of beauty as the hand wipes away

the dripping of heat that no longer belongs

as the fan swirls above

barely working in groans and whispers

we clear away the mirror

remembering with sad eyes

what is no longer.

Skin stretched to move the road lines

maps of years gone by etched

into thighs and breasts no longer young

we smooth away the hairs that fall awkwardly

into our eyes like beauty pageant queens

aware of our days numbered,

we have handed back the sash and crown.

Lavender petals tied with twine

love notes from the universe brought to life,

resurrected once more

because to die unknown is the tragedy

swept away with hand falls of water,

scented bubbles down the drain

spinning into the whirlpool round and round,

we gather our towel,

brush the wet dog like strands into order

and walk through the water left behind

splashes on a dirty floor,

off with the lights

as the fan spins slowly down,

smiling one last pose

still feeling young and alive

within our blooming of years.

With a few new comments today, I went back and revisited an old blog that had for the most part been decommissioned. I returned it to status today and am enjoying the trip down my other memory lane: She lives again <3, into the light.

https://thelavenderletters.wordpress.com

 

Beautiful Day

We move through the haze of the day-to-day

locked in the world barraged by the mad

the sad

the desperate

the hate

and I sit in the darkness of the morning

aware of the light that will soon rise

and give prayer that it falls down upon

the empty souls.

I gaze at the clouds above my head

perhaps seeing symbols and images

anything that strikes my fancy at the moment

the happy

the light

the carefree

the love

and I feel so very blessed as I stand below

the great creation that is,

to give thanks for a beautiful day.

How often we just move

robotic and not so fluid through each moment

when one small change can move mountains

and one smile can bring joy,

but to take that step, that leap

now that is what must happen for the change,

the gift of embracing these days

and to turn them into what they should be

as we shape-shift cloud thoughts

and move them into creation of self

with the gifts we have received,

that we give thanks for what it is that brings lightness,

that we give prayer for healing

in this not so nice world,

I turn away from the darkness

and embrace the light I find,

where I find it

and then give it away

to those in need,

because I believe in better days,

one hour, one minute at a time

I will wait

and I will be gifted this second, this day,

this beautiful time I am in

as I choose it

it shall be.

I choose today to spread joy and happiness in this world where I awaken to darkness each morning, where we go through the motions of living meager lives just accepting that it is what it is. I am choosing to seek the light within myself, to give pause and be cognicent of what I am doing with each moment I am given, what food and amount I am eating (not ingesting purely for the sake of it), and this week has been a wonder. Just changing little things, going for a walk after dinner with the girls to watch the goings on in the neighborhood and feeling the cooling night air surround me, I’ve lost a pound and a half after losing nothing for 7 months (almost 8). I feel good, I’m having fun because it’s what I choose, and turning off the negative news as that is what I also choose. Life is good. Spend time wisely, put down the Facebook and the games and look within to deal with what’s there, instead of escaping the reality. Two weeks without, getting writing done, waiting for the job to take off and ready to fly my friends, so very ready! Join me, what have you done to change things up in your life to bring more joy in this time? Peace and lots more peace, Kim

Knowing

We can see an image and feel

knowing that a sharp edge will indeed draw blood,

that care must be taken

and we have learned this from somewhere

someplace in our lives.

Like fire, we know that if we get too close

we shall be burnt,

we will blister and peel

as someone taught us this too.

Why then when we see injustice

do we turn a blind eye, seeing the pain

and the fear

and realizing like seeing a malnourished pup

we want to hold accountable the soul

who had no soul,

who was able to do this so easily

as if it didn’t matter,

humanity sits before us

and we watch with glassy eyes the images

feeling bad yet doing nothing

perhaps thinking we won’t matter

why bother

why try.

We light our candles

we say our prayers

but until we reach out in faith and hope

that some day we will wake up to a better place

because it was us who did something

anything

besides lip service

and turning the channel so as not to bear witness

thinking what we don’t see

does not exist,

we must have the courage to speak

we must take that step beyond the comfort

we must do it now.

 

I don’t get involved in politics, just ain’t my cup of tea as far as the election goes and I know a lot of people are quite spirited in their opinions, I just chose to be silent on that end. Yesterday I got a pretty huge flyer in the mail, little various pink woman shaped cookie cutter forms on the back, although I had to unfold it to see what it was about, quite happy that breast cancer awareness must have been responsible, yet in each cutout were words. Now it pissed me off, the first one said “Young and beautiful Piece of Ass”….then “fat pigs”, etc…now normally I would just throw it out and be done with it but I was thinking back as a young kid I was always excited to go get the mail, and I wonder if I were a seven-year old who knew how to read, and ran in to show it to mom, reading the words out loud, I would have gotten smacked for sure. What in the name of all that’s good gets into people’s minds…who would mail this? Now politics on tv, I can easily choose not to watch, but when it arrives in the US postal mail, now that made me angry. It’s a cute document, until you read it. Now tell me, if your child brought this in and read it to you, what would you think? Perhaps it’s just me, and it’s nothing I would normally share but it still makes me angry. Yes, the person who “said it” has his own opinions, yet do I really need to get this in my mailbox? Go door to door if you must and hand it to an adult. Really, I often wonder where these peoples heads are at….and you wonder why I dislike politics. Case in point. Now I have to start screening my mail? Perhaps make it smaller and not the size of my mailbox…or better yet…save the postage and don’t send it at all. Rant over, thanks for letting me roll this. Last politic post EVER, I promise 🙂

Peace and balance, K

Washed clean

We bathe ourselves in the sweetest dreams

captured in a mind aware

as lucid thoughts run free like rivers

washing the shores with their touch.

We dive into the knowledge we seek

like young masters, scholars of the wise ones

we swim in the pool of understanding

washed clean as we come to know

what love truly is.

We linger here watching the ripples

as memories move past and we see with new eyes

and let go in forgiving

we rise from the tide feeling fresh and alive

knowing the dirt has left to sink low

where it came from once

it returns now to itself

separate from this soul

as the drops fall I dry in the comfort

of a universal breeze that cools

and soothes

with its sacred self.

Empty spaces

I stood before the blank canvas,

dirty walls waiting for words like graffiti to adorn

the scarred semblance of what once was

uniform indifference of childhood art

hard to discern

yet valued beyond measure.

Waiting in the cage trapped

eyes like the pained dog that cries in silence

hardship so easy to remedy

understanding so hard to embrace

as it is as it was

and the slate waits for the hand to take chalk

to draw the dream that still waits

after time wasted

the mind tired.

What is it that we do to inspire a heartbeat,

a pulse in rhythm,

music of the soul

that waits below the surface waiting for release

yearning for the moment to be free to be

and the moment comes

as we sit unsure where to move to next

left to right in this waltz of life

and as it returns to the same beat left behind

finally moving

flowing like the waves that waited for their name to be called,

to step up to the moment and wash away the past,

to ride on boards of thoughts

we surf the universe

we capture the stars in our hands like confetti

that falls as the celebration comes to its end

and we hang on dearly to that last little piece

afraid to let it go

to forget this moment

yet still happy for being in the moment

and at peace for the release.

I pray tonight my internet issues have come to their conclusion. It has been traumatic to me to say the least, just ask the Mr., but I pray I wake tomorrow to find my clean slate, the universal world synchronized and moving at its pace and that no more rising blood pressure will find me. I have missed a lot of catching up, having to clear my inbox of so many of you left to catch up on, and for that I apologize. Technology has never been my strong forte and from here on out I hope to be back to normalcy, God willing and the creek don’t rise I think is how the phrase goes. I’ve missed you, I’m back and tomorrow is a new day waiting….let the rhythm of life resume its pace, and leave me a happy woman once more. Peace and love and to all of my new followers, if I haven’t responded, unfollow and refollow and I can find you once more. ❤ K

Beyond the blue of yesterday

There was a moment where the sun slipped below the horizon, the vibrant red ball seeming as if to sizzle as it hit the surface that was lightly rippled. There was little wind and no words spoken as we just sat and watched the moment, living with the memory of the beauty from seconds ago. Life moves like this some days I find. Bright and filled with life and then when it all settles, a quiet and serene peace begins to grow like a single flower in broken dirt, a small green shoot in a place where nothing was expected or asked for. Simple blessings to appreciate. Time passed slow and fast, all at the same time and though the body and mind never quite met, never synchronized into itself, many memories were carried away, some which will be words in the future I’m sure, some left behind on that beach where the sun disappeared.

We are home from home. Time likes to play its tricks upon me and trying to get caught up, the internet decided that 400 emails must have been a bit too much, crashing my system over and over again like a wave that never ends. I walked away. I took a breath. I returned to some glimmer of hope, the tiny green shoot of peace moved me once more where only cracked and parched thoughts lay, tripping me up as I try to cope….patience, yes, that is what the mind spoke loud and clear. I let it go. I did get some reading done, some catch up left to do but sometimes you just have to let the sun set on the chaos that wants to ensue, to pull you under and leave you floundering…and so I take time here now for a hello to you all my wonderful friends. I’ve missed you, and I’ve missed me. But I am gradually coming back into the normalcy which is my new life and that makes me smile, yes, I am smiling to look around and see my surroundings, my banana tree which is making fat little bananas for the future, to see the pups on the couch for their afternoon siesta, and rain on and off can’t dampen my soul. I embrace it, welcome it actually. Blue days but so very wonderful and it’s good to be home, here by the sea and so different from back there.

Pics from our trip, beautiful sunset and happy beach fish stinking dogs….life, still good.

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I’m back….YAY! Happy to see you all again too.

Into The maelstrom 

Tossed and turned about
ship unanchored moving in
to the wind whipped depths
returning to the open sea
lost for a moment in an eternity,
anger claims hold in white washed waves
as sleep elludes the restless soul
anger,
darkness clashing forces
something so simple
turned into another deep dive
in to the bottomless emptiness
and you can throw the vest, the ring,
the device that cannot save-
for there is only one way to rise above
this maelstrom
and that is to go deep within
to explore that which lays claim
like the handful of ships before
sunk and without notice
destination unknown,
pieces of history barely remembered
yet for the wire tongued whip
trying to keep it in line
and the feckless student
wise beyond his time
turning disdain to the Motherland
better to run aground
learning how to survive
than clinging to a sinking ship
whose day has come to run aground
to become but a fading memory
of yesterday and the storm
that launched the ideas
of a place of blue seas
free.

Gorgeous image of Venice FL by : Kristen Gunn

Life

I moved along a path that crept through my mind like life moves through unnoticed, through darkness and into light, then back again as the earth moved around me. Night to day and back round again to touch my senses, moving me forward into another year older and often I wonder, another year wiser? I like to think so, I hope so at least. I celebrated another year tacked on to this amazing life yesterday. I honestly have gotten to the point as I get older to not give it a whole lot of thought. It’s going to happen, I enjoy each day and I find age is a state of mind. This week has been marked by much darkness and I strive to move into each day in a state of grace and faith that someday things will change, that there will be no sorrow, that there will be love and understanding. A high bar to set but I have to, in my heart of hearts keep on believing that things HAVE to get better in this big beautiful universe we call home. I gather energy from things in this world and it causes so much pain to feel the hurt, the anger, the violence that filters through the strainer of moments…have we become numb? Has this become so day-to-day that we shrug our shoulders and think, “eh, just another death…just another loss…happens every day, right?” It makes me sad, truly it does. I cannot say I understand being in someone else’s shoes, someone of a different religion/race but I can try. I can cry along side those in the world that do care, that seek to understand and be better. I can pray for healing, I can even pray for peace and I have to stop myself from asking, is it enough? It has to be. We have to start somewhere and I truly believe it needs to start everywhere. Ignorance and hate has no place in my world. I cannot watch the news, for it isn’t just news…it is someone’s life ending needlessly, it is someone losing a loved one, it is a tragic shame. All lives matter to me, and if we all poked our finger and made blood promises for forever friends, guess what? The blood is all the same. We are all worthy of life and respect. I pray for the world and I pray for help that I may be a better person, that we all become better people who come together, hold hands and love each other a whole lot more than what’s happening.

I’m another year older, but I felt so very old and tired…and sad….so very sad.

Peace and blessings to all of my friends. Love conquers Hate. Above all, LOVE before it’s too late.

 

Weaving life

We are magic. We take each strand of the life we are given, anchoring to the tiniest bit of whatever, a blade of grass, a person, a place, and we stretch it out to the next layer, to the next after that, endlessly weaving our life of words, memories, souls we encounter, all of it. We spin our webs with a pattern in mind, revolving round on the next, bringing it in tighter and tighter, even finding sometimes we weave too thin, that parts of our design break from tradition, a hole forms where we didn’t expect and things fall through. We can backtrack and try to fix the hole or decide to let it become a new part of the picture we create. We accept it as a fact of life and there for it is beautiful in itself and stays the way it is.

Sometimes we encounter forces beyond our control. Perhaps we’ve built our art in a busy area, where accidents happen and we aren’t wanted and thus removed. Then it becomes one of two things, a tragedy that we find we don’t have the heart to rebuild and so move to a hole somewhere to live out our time, just eking by, catching our joys like bugs where we sit, or we rise up to rebuild, perhaps in a new and better place where our chances of success are far greater and where fear will not take down what we’ve built. We keep working away night and day at this new creation, setting up right smack dab in the middle where we can survey anything coming, giving us time to get away if need be or just deciding which morsel we will delve into first. For we have created this grand thing, this life which is abundant in it’s giving, if only we give the gratitude and share in our goodness. We move in the gentle breezes that life sends our way, balanced in our creation that we are a part of. We watch the admiration of those who notice, who stop and say “wow, look at that, how amazing…I wonder how they did it” and we smile and acknowledge their praise and let them into our world, knowing they will be careful for they have seen and will do no harm.

We watch the rising of the sun and the beginning of the day and we are alive and happy to be a part of the moments that were born to us to spin each segment, eager for more and as we create our reality filled with beauty and peace, we realize that in our giving of beauty, we are richly rewarded and that not everyone will appreciate and enjoy, those that do are now a part of our creation, our web, our life.

Thoughts as I came through the gate this morning…the sun was rising and glistening on this beautiful spider web. The crab looking spider staying in the center, perhaps watching me trying to get a proper picture of it and I’m hoping unfortunately that at some point it will relocate for it is in the way of things but for now, I will try to let it survive the day. It is anchored by grass and with the dogs running about, I’m sure it will not last, but now I have captured it and sharing it with you, for tomorrow I may be sad to see it gone. The dew glinting off the threads gave it a “hanging star” effect. Have a beautiful day friends.

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Nothing deeper than….

Star of fire lays in the sky
Waiting
And I can’t sleep till she slips beneath into
Her shroud of darkness
for it is who I am
restless in the night of shadows
waiting
watching for her demise.
Oh she will return,
don’t get me wrong
for it is her nature to glisten
on the earth like a mirage
rippling in the city streets
testing the patience
of the weary.
There is nothing deeper than fire,
stirring the embers of a mind moving
ever moving,
searching the depths for shade,
for release,
and in the quiet of a moment she descends,
whispering words of solace
of another day passing and a new one on yet to begin,
pouring out the golden goodness as only she can,
swimming in her beauty as she warms the chill away,
for only she can slip beneath skin
and remind
that over and over again,
she will return
and there will be no rest
until she is done.
Without her is death,
within her is life
surrounded in her embrace
we are alive.