In search of youth

Thoughts filled my head last night while I lay me down to sleep, I’d like to think it was sugarplums dancing there but alas, nothing as beautifully choreographed as that. It was thoughts of things I took for granted then, the simple joys of innocents times, television that catered to enriching a young mind, songs playing on the little plastic box that ran a slide of images that went along with the songs, nursery rhymes perhaps, but I remembered the gingerbread man song in particular. I’ve always had a fondness for sweet things, played the game candy land while pretending that each little land visited was real. A land of make believe to hide away from truths of the actual life lived. I escaped into different worlds, and with writing now, perhaps still do in a way but not as escape, just to ear mark the moments and thoughts that pass through my life, moments that I can’t take for granted…moment that make me, well, me.

Which brings me to cookies. I love cookies. I no longer eat cookies, unless I happen to be in Publix and feel my sugar running low, then one small sixteen cent sugar cookie to boost the brain back into proper order. I eat the biscotti thins, pistachio ones at one hundred calories, not too sweet but just enough. Now keep in mind, as a kid I could devour an entire package of Oreos….back then they weren’t super sized like they are now, and my little sister and I would buy a pound Hershey bar with almonds, hole up in our room at night and play rummy I think it was, with the night breezes blowing in our windows cooling us down as we listened to the radio and laughed, talking long past when we should have been sleeping. Licorice was another favorite, big bags of strawberry twizzlers. Vinegar chips, etc….the list is endless. Memories like that make me smile and today I watched a video of my sister leading her chorus in a vibrant playful song, under the sea from the little mermaid. It made me so proud to see her. Body language spoke volumes, she was a kid again and it took me back to when I was young and in chorus, singing, and happy, just plain old having fun. I imagine us at the end of our days and I know the gifts she’s given to her students, the Impact she’s made on so many young minds. It left me so very proud and I must say, Teary eyed too.

She’s coming to visit next month with her husband and three sons, and I know we won’t be up late eating hard earned Hershey bars or slipping out for a Friendlys Reeses pieces sundaes, not even a big glass of Nestles chocolate milk….but what we will have is laughter, and love and that’s enough for me to be grateful for just thinking about it. Cheers Sis! Looking forward to the happy moments together again. 

This is how I look thinking of life…..such a blessing, leaving me in awe. Gotta love the Minions….

In search of perfection….gone.

I listen in the haze of a cloud

Words that soothe and bring a soul strife,

You’re not here

But yet you remain

The magic of modern day life.

Can’t grasp my hands around

This moment that loses itself in time

Another place

Another language

And I am Young once more.

Am I getting older

Or am I merely locked In The

Is sad capsule of time

Buried below bricks waiting, 

for the perfect gawking moment

Of what once was

But is no longer.

I feel the tears fall like rain,

The pity party late for the grand parade

But I know you wouldn’t mind,

Got there

In my own good time

And I don’t need a light,

Too many years and good sense have run by

And I listen with feverish intention,

Watching the new you tube invention

And it’s grips me hard

Each word played out,

Hard,

Like a sledge hammer to the brain

This moment, 

which will never pass again,

And I am no one

And you, 

you are someone

Because you mattered,

And lines will be crossed,

Yet who counts the cost

Just the faceless,

The nameless,

Who stands and dare say it is just….

Whitewash on a wall

Easily covered

Nothing really, at all.

But to those who know,

Who count the score,

Just words in passing

Like the rain that falls 

and then effortlessly moves on

As is intended

Leaving the rest behind,

You are you,

And you were everything…..

Edge of fire

Your voice comes to me

sultry

soothing

I close my eyes drifting back in time

of days by the waterfalls

of sunny days

and of youth that would never end

can we go back

begin again

if in a dream

a time-lapse image

of the man in black and white

who sang just to me.

I sit here now

hair grayling nicely

knowing those days won’t be back

anytime soon,

they will not return

except in dreams

and voices from machines.

generations grow and move forward

childish whims left sometimes behind,

yet I sit here with the little box

and you croon to me

to light your fire

But I’ve a meeting to attend,

so fine sir you must wait

lord knows we can’t get much higher

just high on life,

’cause a random drug test would leave me home

watching your loveliness on you tube

while eating Bon bons on the couch

if I were to join you in the mire

of herbs and things taboo.

So sing to me Mr Morrison

and I shall make do

with memories of youth and days

that I wished didn’t have to end.

Back to the drudge

of another day in the concrete jungle

please send the crystal ship soon!!