A letter for a friend

I have a beautiful friend who I’ve written poetry for before and in 2012 her sister passed away from cancer. I didn’t want to buy a card as the words just were not adequate so I wrote her this instead. A letter from her to her sister. She told me the other day just how much joy it still brings her and if I had blogged about it, I told her I would do so , so here is a letter passed between friends in memory of loved ones.

I have lost, a piece of myself, a friend, a sister…I have lost, and my heart feels so very heavy with this ache that feels as if it will never leave, that will never let me be at peace.
I have lost, such a huge part of my being that the tears can’t seem to find an end….a river endlessly flowing…a meandering stream that seems to disappear beyond sight then suddenly, inexplicably reappears…I am so tired…so tired of the sadness….so tired of waking up feeling as if today is the same as yesterday…that now, things will never be the same…a piece of me is missing…and I can’t, I don’t know how to get it back…..
I walk through my days in a haze, I walk by the mirror and think to myself, who is this person I then I look a little closer and there is a light that wasn’t there before….just a small glow in my eye…a devilish glint that doesn’t belong to me..or does it…..?? I look a little closer and realize that although I may have not seen it there before…the dawning slowly comes over me like a warm spring sun rising in the sky….you are here…..you are….the DNA that makes up my blood, my bones….you are not gone, because you are in me….in my thoughts….in my heart, in my soul, in the very essence that makes me a part of who I am….you are not gone….you can never be gone because you are indeed, one of the best parts of me…you are in my laughter, my sense of humor, the best thoughts that flow from me….you are like the river flowing uninterrupted from the best of who I am….I do miss you, I will always miss you….but deep at heart I know I can call out and you still hear me, still laugh with me….still believe in me….you are the best of me….
I Have lost you, my dear sweetest friend, my sister……and someday I WILL see you again…..but in the meantime I know, although I cannot see, I know, if I hold out my hand, you will be there to hold it and send me your love, your comfort…..you will let me know that it’s all going to be alright.
and if I cry too much, know that these tears are from missing you….then slap me up side the head and say “enough already”……let’s open that bottle….time to celebrate life….

Originally written June 1st 2012.