Mind circus and the death of a thought

Somewhere in between here and there,
caught on the edge of where I thought I should be
and where I truly was
there came to me quite suddenly
a small thought.
It wasn’t a large thought at least not as far as thoughts can be, but small none the less. I had not expected to find it, so I sat it aside for a while to let it be.

But it came back,
standing in front of me like a neon sign
giving its red flash flash light
and I had to stop a moment
for I could not see anything
as the flashing had blinded me to all but the thought.
Now this is not how it works I told this thought,
I collect you when I am ready and not until.

The thought sat in silence and said nothing.

There see that, I said to the crowd around me
yet they didn’t hear as they were watching their own thoughts,
having no time to deal with mine,
so I sat beside this thought for a few minutes
but it just sat there,
the light had gone out,
silence became unbearable and I suddenly felt bad.
It was there for a reason after all, right?
Now I had made it feel small,
insignificant and I had not meant that at all.

What are you my fine thought?
Why have you entered into the mind circus and made yourself known? I apologize for talking down to you, after all, you have your purpose to serve and I was too busy and didn’t have the time to play with you. Let’s play now, okay?
Yet the thought just sat there saying nothing, locked in a cage made of clouds.
So I got up to leave as this thought apparently had made a wrong turn somewhere along its journey. I took one step and heard a small sigh escape from a cloud.
I looked to the misty cloud and asked what? But the cloud just drifted by saying nothing, rolling my thought away with it.

I had to give up. I had to let it go, this little thought that was fading fast. So I let it go. I knew or at least I thought I knew what it had wanted, but in that knowing was the underlying wisdom that I thought that I knew best, but I was so very wrong. I knew it was there for a lesson to be learned, or at the very least a new door to be opened. I didn’t want to know, I didn’t want to acknowledge it and so it died its death there by my side as all shut-down thoughts do. It was too late to save, but I know there will be others someday, as there always tend to be because in this mind circus, it is so bright and filled with light and color and thats where the thoughts long to be, so when the next thought comes along, I shall invite it in, give it a ticket to enjoy the mind circus and maybe share some popcorn.

Into bliss

The path led down to the blue
Aqua and sky meeting at a point unseen
And sitting down upon the sand
Just waiting it seems for nothing,
Just being in the moment that arrived to find me
On this deserted Sandy knoll
Breathing in air
And sea.
I don’t know why I came
I think someone turned on the invisible fan and it blew me here,
And I am ok with that
Because with no agenda I could just follow along
To where my feet decided to carry me.
Yet feet don’t really know,
They just kind of shuffle along
Where the mind tells them to go,
Like faithful dogs that heel
Just moving along happy for the jaunt,
Ready to explore whatever will come.

So I sat there
Among a million grains of sand
Picking up stones and broken shells,
Feeling the edges as they ran through my fingers
And watching the clouds move aimlessly,
Because clouds always kind of move aimlessly,
But these ones were different,
Some moving this way and some that way,
As if they couldn’t quite decide where they needed to be
But they gathered anyway
Because it must have been a party,
Waiting for the guest to arrive,
The revered guest,
Perhaps it was his birthday,
His entrance to that particular party for the first time.
I’m sure he was tired,
After having been at so many other affairs that day,
Pleasing the people who had gathered to watch,
To ooh and aah as he rose
Taking a bow and settling himself amongst the guests,
His friends the clouds.
What a grand party it was,
He was so large
With this glow unlike I’d ever seen before,
Here I sat,
A lowly party crashes just watching the spectacle

I’m not sure if they would have noticed anyway,
But I grew weary and it was time to go,
Early days awaited and I excused myself,
Shaking a bit of sand off of my cuffs,
In jeans and tee feeling slightly underdressed
I turned and walked away.
They followed me,
The shadow guards guiding my way
Back down the path until I turned into the darkness,
Out of view they lost me
And I arrived to another place and glancing back
He stood high in the sky,
The clouds having gone home,
The stars stood in their place,
Like the setting for the diamond
Glistening on black velvet,
And I could have sworn he winked then,
As if we shared some cosmic secret,
I think he was glad that I had come.